Read about object relations and self-psychology. Google "sense of self".

Self Psychology Psychoanalysis

Also, bipolar is often borderline misdiagnosed or used to avoid stigma, insurance, etc.

You may have not had a solid person to organize your personality around when you were an infant/young child. Psychoanalytic therapy can help with that. Sorry you are distressed-this is good in a way, because it's the distress that leads us to seek help and change.

((((Hugs))))