I agree with Mouse_, SQ.

You've been dealing with this for some time now, are you getting help?

(((( silveriest of queens ))))

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder
The distinguishing characteristic of depersonalization disorder is the feeling that one is disconnected or unreal. Mind or body may be perceived as unattached, seen from a distance, existing in a dream, or mechanical.

Chronic depersonalization is commonly accompanied by "derealization," the feeling that features of the environment are illusory.

It should be noted that depersonalization as an isolated symptom may appear within the context of a wide variety of major psychiatric disorders like schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, panic disorders and even depression.

Mild episodes of depersonalization have been reported following alcohol use, sensory deprivation, mild social or emotional stress or sleep deprivation, and as a side effect to medications. However, severe depersonalization is considered to be present only if the sense of detachment associated with the disorder is recurrent and predominant.

http://www.strangerinthemirror.com/dissociative.html