I'm really discouraged about my continuing depression and struggle with finding any joy or pleasure in life. I've finally decided that life is just something you have to do before you die. I'm so tired of hoping for improvement only to find myself in a dark hole again and having to fight my way our. I've come to the conclusion that I might just be better off if I just give up on any hope and just accept my plight as it is...depressed. If I make it I make if I don't I don't. I see no joy ahead of my, no pleasure in this thing called life and wish I could just give up and die sometimes. Will it ever end or will the rest of my life be spent in this timeless struggle to feel good about myself and my life. Sometimes I look at the future and think to myself I just can't do this forever if this is the way things are going to be. I think I would like for life to just come to a quiet end and then my suffering would be overwith for good. But, I have to keep on putting one foot in front of the other because I can't kill myself though I wish I were dead most of the time. Maybe I am weak or something but the fight has just gone out of me. I give up!