Well...that was quite the discussion haha. I must say that like Prefabsprout I was a bit confused as well sometimes and didn't quite understand everything that was meant but I think I got most of it. First of all I'd like to say that I appreciate everyone who replied to this with advice.

Talthybius, I think that it's this part that set people off a bit: "This is true. I never engaged in any shallowness, ever. You probably have." The "You probably have" came off as an insult towards bipolarmama31.

Now as far as the "you have to be happy with yourself and you're inner side comes first"-part goes: I'm sure that it's true that you can't be in a good relationship with someone who isn't happy with themselves and it's definitely something that everyone should work on. But then again, don't we all have insecurities and things we worry about? I can't imagine that everyone who's in a relationship is happy with themselves. Also, I get what Talthybius is saying in the sense that I think that first attraction is mostly physical and just being happy and confident with yourself probably won't cut it. You don't know the person so subconsciously you probably go: he's hot, he isn't. That being said, I know that attraction can grow or come up once you get to know people, meaning that you're attracted to their personality, intelligence,... (this happened to me a few weeks ago). They become (more) interesting once you start talking to them and get to know them. But even then most people probably wouldn't be interested if there isn't at least some physical attraction towards that person or if they're really ugly in their eyes?

When it comes to experiences Thaltybius is talking about, I honestly don't care wether it's superficial or deep. Also, it's not only about sexual experience, it's romantic experience in general. Sure a 15-year-old isn't going to have a deep romantic relationship that their heart is completely into, but those brief romances or crushes, learning how to kiss,... are part of your development I think, and missing out on that makes me feel like I've missed out on for example learning how to ride a bike or something. It's such a basic part of growing up that practically everyone experiences and prepares you for later on if you know what I mean. I'm not saying that I would have liked to go to bed with every other guy I see, I still don't and won't, but I don't see anything wrong with people who've had a few sexual partners (in a relationship or not) and wouldn't judge them for it (if they'd come to me with 100 people on their list, that's a different story haha). That being said, it's not like it's really my choice that I had sex or not because it take 2 to tango haha. Sure there was one guy who was interested in just that, but like I said that's not my thing. But that was also the only time that it was really an option, unless I'd maybe had gone up to some random guy. But even then they have to be attracted to you to want to do it.

I won't deny that I could've gone out more during my student time (I've got one year to go, but my last year I will take the train from home since I have less classes and it's basically a waste of money to rent a room for 4 hours of class in the week, however much I would've like to stay in the city). The thing is, I'm not a big party-person and my campus isn't really big (most campuses of my uni are in a different city) so we don't have the big student life with clubs to join like many American universities seem to have with their student life. It's kind of hard to join clubs and meet a lot of people when you live in a small place.

I know that in your late teens, early twenties you are in your prime, but I wonder if that really matters? Because people in their thirties, forties, fifties,... date and marry as well. Just like I wouldn't be attracted to a 18-year-old, there are probably many older people who wouldn't want to date a 20-year-old because they don't have more or less the same amount of life experiences. I think personality and age come more into play there.