Thanks, Angelique. I appreciate everyone's input regardless of their opinion or intent. I keep what serves me and discard what doesn't.

I wish I could have improved my 'episodes' or come up with some solution, but maybe this is just a hellish predicament.

When I'm baffled, I try to turn to God. I care about myself. I feel like I've become friends with all you guys here, too, which is really nice.