Hi - sorry you are going through this. For me, once the relationship got complex there was no other way but to pull the band aid off really fast and be done with it. I tried every which way to have a phased, orderly termination, but the relationship was well past orderly and my T was well passed the point of being able to guide us firmly through it. In the end I just had to be the grown up and do what was best for both of us. I tried sending emails, she'd reply even when I asked her not to. Sent a card and specifically said 'don't email', and she did anyway. Despite acknowledging that she was out of line in doing so. Each time, I lost my nerve and went back.
It's like any awful, hard and painful decision: sometimes you just have to go through the short term hell to get to long term safety. And sometimes we have to do the opposite of what therapy would tell us: turn off the feelings and just take very wise action, no matter how gutted we are. Still, it sucks and I am sorry for you x

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk