That's a really good point re using mindfulness, BayBrony: what is content that needs exploring and what could be let go (for now, forever?).

It feels like it's all part of a deeper pattern connected to so many other things, but that diving deep into it would just overwhelm me, throw me into a massive PTSD flight/fight/freeze response and unmoor me totally.

You're right - I can be kinder to myself, slow it down, give it some space. It's not an emergency. Nothing is actually happening outside of my head. I don't have to analyse it all right now. I don't need to understand it and have it nailed to be safe (even though that's my usual rationalising, OCDish approach and what every fibre of my being wants to do). I don't need to be watching it like a hypervigilant hawk. Those things feel like they keep me safe. But they don't.

Maybe I can look at it through the lens of 'Wow. That's an interesting old pattern that's popping up. Who knows why, right now, and it's not going to be able to be understood right now, anyway.'

Something like that?

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