well i'm not sure where to start, well i'm 19 and since i left school i haven't really worked i haven't talked to any of my friend and i shut myself in the house. i always feel exhausted no matter how much sleep and i try to stay quiet so my family don't talk to me and recently when i am out i try to avoid people i know.

i just recently realised that i cant remember people's faces, names or even the memories i spent with them. when my grandmother and cousin died i was completely unfazed by it, as it i never knew them and couldn't remember anything about them despite recently being with them. the earliest i can remember this i was about 15, and it suddenly hit me that i didn't know what my own face and body looked like, when i looked in the mirror i remember feeling otherworldly as if 'is this really me', i think it was from there i started not remembering people and my early years.

quite recently i got this feeling that just suddenly popped into my head that the world wasn't real that it just realised and suddenly became aware i can feel it throughout my body tingling an it randomly hits me quite often. when i was a few years younger i started not being able to see peoples faces sometimes like passing on the street but it started happening again. not too long ago i got an erratic fear of eyes, it was triggered by a disturbing dream,
sometimes when i talk to people everything fades out and a white noise and this disturbing feeling of dread drags me onto peoples eyes and they almost appear as if otherworldly being, staring through me then it eventually fades.

so that about amounts to my all my problems, i not to sure if i actually need help or if i'm just an attention-seeking loser.