Dear friends, ElsaMars, SickCycleCarousel, and Hopeless2015. Thanks for all your great posts. Before I answer them, I need to know how to get email notices when threads I'm on have replies. SickCycleCarlousel, your name is great. I'm guessing it applies to how you see life, or your life, but it certainly applies to my thread here! Hopeless2015, I hope that you have found something to hope for. For me, I MUST, must,must have a purpose in life. That's what takes the place of "empty hope" or hopelessness. I have goals. I'm a musician, and I share my music. I see my friends. Some women I was friends with have turned out to be a mistake. The result is that now I have only one long time, close woman friend. She's fading from my life, too, I think. But that's another story. Anyway, I have just gotten two women from a Craig's list ad I put in wanting to meet women who want to go to local theatre productions with me. I plan to meet each one individually for coffee in the next week or 2. In a few weeks, too, I plan to do another Craig's list ad to meet a few women over 55 who have rapid cycling bipolar disorder, for friendship and support. Like a small support group, to go fun places, etc, and call on the phone to talk about hard times and fun times. The mental health drop in centers where I live have all closed down. Apparently it's a "turf issue." Meaning that since the drop in centers made people's mental health improve tremendously, kept them out of the hospital, and cost way, way, way less than hospitalization, the powers that be closed them because they took money away from the state hospitals. So we have to do what we can. A lot of people have died as a result of the drop in center close downs. I am also a very creative person. My lifelong passion is playing music. I quit piano after 50 years, and switched to mandolin. I sing, too, and perform occasionally. I play music with friends 2-3 times a week. So, Hopeless2015, although I am a political activist, I keep saying to myself that my purpose in life is not to change political things over which I have no control. My purpose in life is to share my music and create opportunities for other musicians to meet meet each other and play, jam, form bands. I give them opportunities to do all that, and lots of encouragement, and playing music with friends keeps me happy. ElsaMars, yes, you are right about a house cleaner. I can afford a house keeper. I have had someone for many years. She comes 2 hours a week, and that's how things stay clean. But I need much more help. I need someone to help me keep things IN ORDER and NEAT. My housekeeper and friend does not like helping with things like itty bitty pieces of paper,and my need to have a friendly, bossy person to push me to get rid of stuff. Thanks goodness I'm not a hoarder! I'm a clutterer. I have had help of this sort in the past, but now I don't have anyone. My pdoc might know how to get someone; and maybe my therp does. I'm seeing my therp on Monday. The non-profit he works for has maybe 20 different sorts of programs, several of which are for disabled, elderly, and or mentally ill people. So, all of you and anyone else who checks in on this topic, being "nibbled to death" by my apartment clutter is stopping me from my music and other activities that bring me happiness and stability.