i really understand what you're saying moonkin... its so cool to have a place like this to come find friends and support and people who show they care... in my teenage years there wasn't anything like it...

one of the responses mentioned that its never too late to be a teen... i just wanted to add to that... theres a town near where i live called Nederland. the locals have re-named it affectionatley to Neverland.

its a place you can find full grown adults still enjoying the feeling of youth... it's happened to me too... im 44 and at times i feel 16...

im not saying one shouldn't act their age, in fact its important that when the chips are down we all behave as adult as we know... maybe that is whats happening to you now... you feel the pressure and strain of your emotions and you are trying to deal with it the way you believe an adult would... a very mature response to a troubling situation...

don't worry, you will have time to enjoy life at every age... but i understand the sense of loss you might feel... it is a sad reality... try not to let it beat you... when you've worked your way thru some of the downs about being who you are now you will be able to see their true values also...