Quote:
Originally Posted by Longingforhome
Monalisa, I've had a really bad T experience and am a walking text book on the red flags.
The things that would worry me about what you describe are her behaviour and your reaction. She has made YOUR therapy about HER, and now YOU are trying to reshape what she is doing to make it about YOU again to save the relationship and somehow keep it as therapeutic for you.
Your sense that you are betraying her by talking about it is a clear signal that this is no longer about you and your needs and something not-great is going on here. I am really sorry for you that you are going through this. It's a completely awful place to be.
And I'm afraid that the very person who SHOULD be there to help you sort through it, make healthy and strong decisions about what to do next and protect yourself, is no longer available to you in that capacity.
Can you get another opinion from another T?
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Thank you for your post Longing, you have a good grasp of the situation and how difficult it is because she is the one person who should be there for me. I can't really consult another t because she is very well known in my county and most ts know her professionally or personally. So I am alone with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
Thanks, I hear what you say that mainly people post the hard bits. I guess that just depends on what our views if therapy are!! If my T brought her 'work' then I wouldnt be able to think that it was therapy for me. I think she ought to be paying me rather than me paying her. I can certainly understand why it would be confusing for you.
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I thought that after our last session. I felt like I was the t. I wanted to reach out and hug her but we have never hugged so I didnt want to cross her boundaries. It was awkward because I wasnt sure which role I was supposed to be in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Out There
I'm sorry you're experiencing this Mona.  . It doesn't sound as if your T is fit to practice at present. I think T's are human ( some might disagree ! ). I hope your T gets the help she needs , but you also need things - and we can't be our therapists therapists. What do you think you might do now - is it time to look for a new T ? Self care for you too  |
Thank you Out There
I have been considering lately leaving t and suggesting a friendship between us. I couldnt get rid if her out of my life altogether, just yet anyway. SHe really is the only support I have besides this forum. She is struggling at the moment and I agree she should not be practising if she is that easily triggered. I have an ethical duty to repport any ts whom I don't think are fit to practice or whom I feel are harming the profession or undermining it but since we belong to different accrediting bodies I dont feel it would be appropriate, I will ask her if she feels she should take a break from clients at the moment before I consider going further about it.
I need my t to be there for me like I have been for her over the last year. I am too loyal to my t and would never betray her so this is a very hard situation for me. There have been times where she could have reported me because I wasnt fit for practice but I took time off myself. I knew I was suffering from vicarious retraumatisation, I could feel all of my clients pain and was really suffering. My t was very kind to me at this stage and really got me through it. I feel a duty to her to be there for her too.