You know, if he's half as good as you say he is, being honest about this sort of thing won't destroy your relationship or cause him to hulk out into some sort of monster. It sounds like he's been very good about the boundaries you've already asked him to respect (less self-disclosure) and has taken a really sensitive disclosure about your intrusive thoughts like a professional. That said, I really do empathize with how difficult that kind of honesty can be, how crazy and 'damaged goods' it can make you feel.

My T opens the door for me. We walk through multiple doors to get to his office and he opens every single one. I absolutely hate it--I have to pass much too close to him and he's, like, insanely tall so I feel like I'm passing under him, too. For six months I put up with this **** because, hey, only crazy people can't abide the basic courtesy of holding a door.

One day, I just couldn't do it. I said, "You can go first."

And you know what? He did. And didn't get all offended. Didn't give me a funny look. Didn't insist on analyzing the thing to a bloody pulp. He just went first and that was that. This nuance of human interaction I thought was a big deal? It wasn't. And that is so incredibly freeing.

You really can say, "Dude, can you back up a couple feet?" and have it not be a big deal. I'd say go for it--try it. See what happens. I bet it won't be a big deal.