Hello, I'm new and not sure if this is the correct place to post. I'm having family issues with my half siblings.

Let' see, a little (but will probably be lengthy) background...I hope I can be clear and concise...

I'm a 47yr old female, the only child between my mother and father. Both of my parents were married and divorced prior to their marriage to each other and had three children. My dad, two sons and a daughter, my mom, two daughters and a son. My half siblings are all considerably older than me, my oldest sister on my moms side is 67, my youngest brother on my dads side is 57.

Plain and simple, I was raised an only child. My siblings did not live with my parents and I, they were either attending college or were living with their other parent. I would see them occasionally throughout the year, Christmas, extended family picnics, weddings, funerals, etc. For a while, my oldest sister was a bit of a second mother to me, taking care of me when my parents would go away for a weekend, but that rarely happened. This was while I was still a child.

During my teens and early 20's I didn't have a solid connection with my siblings. They were getting married, having kids and I was in college and in my 20's...partying, having a great time with friends. I would babysit my nieces/nephews, play softball, canoe/rafting trips, euchre parties with some of them. One of my sisters and I did live together briefly when I was in my mid twenties and she in her 40's. And my one of my brothers did help me get a job at his place of employment, but even my friend/coworkers commented on how distant we were.

Fast forward to 2004-2005, my dad (late 60's) was having major health problems, dementia and heart issues, my mom and I were the only ones by his side. The sister I lived with was there for us a little, but his own children were not. I lost my father at 69, way too young, and I remember one of my brothers (his son) calling me asking what he should do? I told him, "He's your dad, you shouldn't have to ask me what to do." The other brother (also his son) didn't show up to his funeral. He told me "My dad wasn't there for me." The funeral was the last time I saw my sister and brother on my dad's side.

Moving ahead to more recently, my mother (mid 80's) started having health troubles and for about a year was in and out of the hospital. I should mention here that the sister I lived with and I tried to bond as siblings about a year prior and it was so uncomfortable. She said she knew she hadn't been the best sister and wanted to try harder. I remember there was a brief time I felt like we were making progress. It got to where my mom could no longer care for herself in her own home, so my two sisters (her daughters) and myself began to stay with her. My two sisters were both retired and would stay with her on rotation and I would stay with her during the weekend. It really took it's toll on us, my sisters especially. We are not caregivers. We love our mother dearly but we don't know how to properly care for her physically. It was during this time when the sister I was happily reconnecting with was staying with my mom and a storm hit. It damaged my moms house. She was pretty upset. My sister asked if I could come stay with mom. I couldn't, I was out of town dog sitting. My sister got so upset with me, saying I cared more about "those dogs" than my own mother. That was the end of our sister bonding experience. She was verbally abusive to me and I told her to never contact me unless it was an emergency about mom. During this time my mom was in and out of the hospital and I would have to ask my sisters about mom's health or I would hear it third hand through my sister-in-law (my mom's son's wife). But yet, my sister whom I told not to contact me unless it was an emergency contacted me to return a DVD player she lent me. What??? Sorry, that sequence of events got a little messy...moving on...

My mom's health was failing so my two sisters made the decision to move my mom to a care facility. She was in a total of three, the final one is wonderful. I guess this where is spirals downhill for me. As you read above, my sisters made this decision, without me. They visited various facilities, without me. I tried to get involved, but it just never seemed to work out. They were visiting during the week. When I told them I could take vacation time, they didn't even consider it. I really felt left out. And after things settled down for my mom I mentioned it to her. She must have said something to my sister and she went off on me. Telling me "Mom can't tell the difference between the phone and the remote control and you're going to accuse her of intentionally leaving you out?" I corrected her, saying it wasn't mom. But she wouldn't hear it.

My mom is comfy in her new "home" at an assisted living facility. But still the drama is unfolding. She had to sell her house. My sister's (and their spouses) doing most of the work. I had decades of storage in the basement I removed and promised my mom I would donate her pantry items to a local food bank. That was a lot of work as she had a huge pantry in the basement, etc. As far as prepping her house for sale, again, I felt as though my siblings excluded me, going over to work and not telling me. I was asking them what I could do to help. I'd go over on the weekend or after work and rip up carpet, wash the windows. But, they did the bulk of the work. Ultimately clearing the house I grew up in off all my mom's contents. It makes me sick. It went on the market Friday and nobody said anything to me. My mom told me yesterday. This morning I sent a text to my sister, thanking her for all the work everyone did on the house and asked her to pass my thanks on to everyone else that helped. The reply I received was three smiley faces.

See, I told you that would be lengthy.

I guess what I'm struggling with is...am I fighting for something that isn't there? It almost seems my moms siblings don't want to have a relationship with me. I feel since we share blood the bond should be stronger. Who knows what reasons they have. I'm pretty sure there is some resentment from childhood. I grew up in a loving home, a happy home, without divorce. They did not. I don't know, I'm trying to figure it all out and I'm exhausted. We obviously don't communicate with other very well. And, I guess by me thanking them for their help, it's kind of like a farewell. Any interaction I have with them causes me grief and stress.

Thank you for reading, sorry it was sooooo long. I welcome any and all feedback. Please, I'd love (and need) to hear your responses. I can't make sense of it but perhaps outsiders looking in can!
Meeshell