Out of respect to the person, I prefer not to go into detail about their history. Suffice it to say, though, that they have a lot of fears about a lot of different things. I understand why - they've been through a lot. But it isn't easy.

I guess I'll just say...this person is a parent. I still live at home, and it's extremely difficult. I've been very overprotected all my life, and even though I'm in my mid-twenties, I'm still told that I need to listen to them. That I'm not acting in wisdom, am foolish, etc. if I make a decision without consulting them first. I've only just started making decisions on my own, and almost every time I do, I hear about it. I feel so much of the time as if my thoughts, feelings, and opinions aren't respected. I walk on eggshells all the time, and don't feel like I have any real privacy or freedom to be myself. Things have improved a little since starting therapy, and I have better boundaries than before, but I still feel trapped and micromanaged.

So right now...I'm faced with this: I need freedom to explore, make my own decisions, and live my own life. But as it stands, I'm greatly limited. I want desperately to move out, but don't have the funds to do so yet. Feeling like I don't have autonomy and control over my own life is extremely depressing, and I have pretty intense mood swings and am on meds for OCD. And according to my therapist, emotionally I'm still a child.

I find myself resenting control or rules of any kind lately, including at work, which is disturbing since rules are a part of life. But I'm so sick of being told what to do/think/feel/believe, when, where, and how, that I want to run from authority. Authority figures, strong personalities, etc. make me very nervous. To boot, one of my lifelong dreams has been to get married - something I'm afraid to do if it means giving up independence in any way. I just want to feel free.

Sorry for the rant. Perhaps you can tell - I'm in a bit of a funk right now.