I'm not talking about regular doctors, I only mean when they would give you a female examination. I know with regular doctors for that like gynecologists you can choose your doctor and make sure they are female--and I did that, but for a reason I'd rather not go fully into I'm afraid of needing to go to the Emergency Room for something like that and ending up with a male doctor. Because of things, that situation is extremely triggering for me.

I feel like I would be unlikely to go to the Emergency Room knowing this is a possibility. The hospital itself is rude enough to me so I doubt even if I attempted to explain, which I have in the past and no one cared, they wouldn't try to find me a female doctor.

And I also feel very guilty, like I'm being discriminatory or judgmental in some way, but maybe that feeling is caused by my past also, which I also feel guilty for.

How do you handle triggers like this?