Sounds like a rough one... day, week, months ....probably years for you. I'm sorry hope something gives you a break for your life and even some small act of kindness, or relief... to make it with while. Our Day to day life is hard enough to get through...plus like you mentioned having an illness on top of all that, is very difficult. Please, if it's God you look to for some positive outlook on life, then that's a start and so good. Something, for any type of positive right now is good. At least you have that and when problems just keep at you left and right...if at all possible and not telling you what to do.... Is try not to blame God. When worse comes to worse, and you're at the bottom of the hole looking up for some help it will be vacant, empty...the one thing you have as good or in my opinion that matters to you is gone it's gone forever...once there's nothing left to believe in.. pulling back from that is deep, brutal work. Life sucks....like really really sucks big ones....***** happens and it's never easy. Remembering it's not God's fault, parents or other people ...helps ....putting an endless circle of blame to sucky life. It's not ever fair and nobody seems to care. I care... It's this really weird thing can't shake off... like I really do have this deep sense of love for (some) people and want to listen and give them ideas to make their situations better. I hope and pray for mental peace state of mind, that the Lord will give you triple times amount of patience you already have to get past this and may he help give you good restful night of sleep and full belly

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