Hey, great advice everyone.

healingme4me, thanks, I also believe actions speak louder than words, so I'll be keeping an eye on it. It's what had me worried so early on, since his words said he loved me and cares greatly, but his actions seemed to vary. He'd do something loving than something uncaring. I was confused for a long while until I learned that it's how he is. About changing how he treats others, I'm not sure if he notices a problem. He's generally a nice person, if just a little odd, around others. It's when he's upset that he acts rude. So, most people seem to take two sides: they're either drawn to him for his uniqueness or act and feel superior to him. Funny, I realize that's how people are with me. Maybe him and I are more alike than I thought. Well, I have talked to him about what I believe is the right way to act around others without specifically saying he has a problem. I have a strong feeling that he would get defensive if I said he had social difficulties.

Talthybius, I never really saw him that way until you mentioned it. I did wonder about how he acts similar to those with Aspergers syndrome once or twice, but didn't dwell on it. I know that without a diagnosis, I can't say he has it, but I do know that his family seems very likely to not take him to get diagnosed. They're very accepting of who his is, which is great, but they'd probably overlook ever diagnosing him if he had it. It would explain his very odd interests as a child and how his empathy "changes" just depending on whether he's keeping any focus on me or not. Well, he may not have it, but his traits do bring it to mind.

I can see that being the reason why he keeps in his room. I didn't think of that, but he doesn't tend to show his emotions until they're bursting.

When I first got with him, there are so few people I meet who act like him that I saw him in the same light as everyone else, and in that way he came off kind of rude for reasons previously mentioned, like how he didn't like to ask questions, talk about himself, or get emotional. He occasionally did show very strong sensitivity, so I felt that there was a possibility that he wasn't a jerk but just acted different than everyone else and was probably very sweet. So, I gave him the chance to be himself and I did have to coax him a lot to talk more and also talk about himself.

Well, despite how he seems to "not care" sometimes, like having to ask for help with things that most people would automatically help with, or being a little more leader-like, I'm thinking it's a small price to pay for someone who's a genuinely good person who loves me and will be there for me. His family has insisted that he loves me, probably because they know how he is and might be worried that I might not. They all also understand he's always been "different" since he was little.

I guess why I've taken a complete 180 on whether to stay with him or not is because I was confused and lost and worried I was with someone who didn't love me. But, talking about it with him, and reading over the replies here again, and especially the realization that he may be on the AS spectrum or have a similar personality, my fears decreased substantially.

But still, I have to wait and see. I also would hate to break up with him. I do love him and wish to stay together. I'm not sure how well I'd handle breaking up, but I've handled tough situations before, so we'll see.

Bill3, it sounds like you're right. He does seem to wait for me to make decisions on a lot of things.

Well, I didn't mention it, but I do like bringing him out of his shell and learning more about him. It's been some of my best memories with him. Like learning he loves animals, has artistic tastes despite giving the impression that he doesn't care about it, really does like to tag along with me because he likes my company although he doesn't like to go out, likes nature, etc. The hard part is general, day-to-day chores, or feeling I'm loved by him when he spent so much time alone. Sorry if you meant something else by intrigued or engaged by the task of drawing him out. Do you mean out of his room? Speaking of that, I did feel upset that I had to bring him out of it myself, since I thought this meant he didn't want to spend time with me. But it was good to learn that wasn't the case.

I mentioned in another post that I worried he might cheat on me if we stayed together, if he actually doesn't love me. It may have been strange to mention, but it's because it seems to be what commonly happens when someone doesn't love someone else but stays with them anyway for various reasons.

I figure that when it comes to him locking away in his room, although I've been asking him to spend more time with me, and it's working out good, I try to be as nice as I can about letting him have his alone time. It might be that he needs the time alone to feel comfortable.