I would personally refrain from labeling people unless they are officially diagnosed. Not every bad partner has ASD or NPD or BPD etc unless you get official diagnosis it might be better to just stick to his behavior. If he refuses to do anything unless you ask to then both of you make chores list and split responsibilities, put it on a fridge and stick to it, this is not 1950s when women did household chores and men worked

Also everyone needs alone time but with the amount of time he wants to be alone it's better to maybe live alone. No need to live together as roommates

Personally I think life is too short to be unhappy.

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