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Originally Posted by jpb4815
I can relate, I am obsessive about my punctuality and response times to messages or texts. I always feel let down by all but a few. I think that I have unrealistic expectations though.
Have you ever told these people what effect their actions have on you? I had to tell my wife and a few close friends a couple of years ago that it had a negative impact on me when they would not respond to texts, but I could see that they were actively on Facebook.
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I haven't fully explained to them what kind of affect this has on me since I don't want to come off as clingy or overbearing. I decided that I will tell someone upfront that if they aren't sure about plans, to please let me know in advance if they might not happen.
Every now and then, something comes up where someone has phone problems (I have a friend or two that are really disorganized or unable to reach me at certain times, and I also have friends who aren't constantly "plugged in" or able to bring their phones into work). In instances like that, I can make exceptions. But I've come to the conclusion, I can't constantly let things go. I think texting them the day before to make sure might help or saying "please let me know if things change," so they think twice.
Maybe being more assertive will make a difference. I know people have busy lives, and maybe they will work on reliability when I talk to them about it (trying to look on the bright side), since everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Yes, they should be more reliable, but it doesn't always mean they don't value the friendship....so I'll try not to let this control my emotions when things don't go my way, although it's a challenge for me.