I have been a firm believer in this all my life. Let go of that belief when depression hit my life at the age of 42....& that belief stayed gone until about 6 months ago when I finally got myself together & had a good chance to realize the me that I had lost for so many years.

Looking back....even during those years when I let go of that belief, it was true even then....I just didn't see it. I still wonder what the reason was that I attempted suicide so many times....but luckily for my now that I realize how wonderful life really is, I never was successful.

Now I can see everyday how every little thing happens for a reason.....a learning tool, something to make me stronger. I have learned over the years that when something goes wrong that I need to sit back & look at the situation....not jump in & try to fix it or make it happen the way I want it to go.

When I sit back & look at the situation, then I can make the right choices. I can also see what part I took in the situation & decide if there is something I did or thought or said that I would have done differently. I use these situations as learning tools to improve myself in the future. I will never be perfect & always will want to learn to be a better person & the only way I can do that is to be open to the experiences around me & the people around me. It also gives me a chance to interface with others & be able to make suggestions as to how situations could have been improved....especially if I'm not happy with the outcome of something.

Fights with others doen't always imply that we mess everything up, or that we aren't good enough or that it's even us that's the cause of the fight. I know for me, I have had enough of the situation I'm in with my husband. I have been pushed enough & the only way to go for me is to let it out....& that ends up in a fight. Honestly, it feels good to finally let is out & get everything said that needs to be said. It usually turns into a fight because he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say, but I really don't care....it has to be said. I'm not walking out without being completely understood...I don't want anything being left to mis-communications & anything being left to be implied.

Sometimes when we are straight forward & say something the other person doesn't want to hear, it turns into a fight expecially when they become defensive....but sometimes even that needs to happen.....this is why I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason...& sometimes the reason is for the other person too.....we never can tell at the time.

I think that everyone involved in the situations should learn from them & understand the reasons things happen....that is the only way we grow & mature....something that never ends in life. I find it actually very interesting & exciting, never knowing what I am going to learn from a situation that happens. That is the beauty of life & being alive are the experiences we live through & survive through. Even the trauma I just lived through has taught me to be a much stronger person & to be able to see things that I previosly didn't see in people....being able to judge people easier & sometimes anticipate the bad & be able to stop it before it happens.

Learning is usually the reason for something happening.....sometimes learning the hard way, but learning seems to be the key for me when things happen.

Debbie