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Originally Posted by leomama
Oh I had to fight for two years to get my court awarded child support but that was a different relationship with different issues. I first learned how to be codependent in my family of origin so at this point in my life id like to think I have a handle on things like my relationships.
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I'm not sure that every lesson "learned" is so simple to unlearn. My marriage was by and large codep on my part as were previous relationships. Much learned care of my mom. And even 6+years after she's left this green earth, I'm still catching little moments of understanding what was her kindness as opposed to what was her dependency/pleasing aspects. To be too forgiving to a flaw, was where I didn't learn how to effectively assert myself.
My child support has been established since February 2010. I'm inwardly resolving my desire to want to be compassionate and offer a bend/adjustment. But a close friend reminded me, that this is my exes situation to fix. Meaning he needs to go find extra work since he's not saddled by the caregiving of our sons. So, to rescue or not rescue was the question. I would be enabling if I offer to take the burden. I already am burdened enough.
"Interrogate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West