bellaviolet,

You did not deserve to be treated this way, and it was not your fault. You are not an idiot. You are not stupid. What did happen was you were taken advantage of by an opportunistic predator. It was his fault, not yours. He abused his position of power and abused your trust -- which he falsely created by "being nice" -- and overpowered you when he showed his true self.

We live in a world with danger. It doesn't mean, when we encounter it, that we deserved it. You didn't do this to yourself, it was done to you. You didn't deserve this today, any more than you deserved it as a child. You deserved to be treated with care and respect.

I know you are in pain. I wish you well in healing. Remember, there are honorable, caring people here to help.

be well,

mtd