She might be having an affair. That's just my gut feeling because you mentioned she said she doesn't believe in monogamy any more. Maybe that's why she's sabotaging the counseling.

Some people have enough from when things first go bad, others never say 'enough' and desperately cling until the bitter end. Sometimes the other person says 'enough' and just ends it and we have no choice. Sometimes it's back and forth insanity forever.

I'm going through this myself, too.

It could be that your wife is having a mid life crisis. It sounds like she's envious of other people's money and leisurely lives and maybe she's trying to find a new relationship with a rich guy. She might not be thinking straight. I believe the mid life crisis is a real thing.

I'd ask her if she is having an affair.