Even from me, my ex's dx's that I mention are from a doctor and from a medical release sheet from the hospital which included a follow up plan.

Besides, trying to sort out the possibilities and variables is energy absorbing and takes away from the recovery necessary to overcome the loss of a relationship or the loss of the future plans and dreams.

It's a slippery slope to try to sort it out on your own.

I have found that I benefited more by looking at the marriage relationship as a whole and pinpoint behaviors and patterns that just weren't working and asking myself how I got there, beyond just pointing fingers at my parents.

I'm content living solo with my sons. Not that some nights aren't more lonely than others, but I think often about their benefit. Had a long ago friend express how hesitant she was about bringing a man into her home until her kids were adults because as she placed it they might love you, but there's no guarantee they'll love your kids like you do. Plus I'd add, then there's the notion of compromise on parenting them that matches the values that are already set in place.

"Interrogate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West