I feel like that flat affect is a coping mechanism, and it's actually a decent one. Unfortunately people dont always understand.
I do the same thing. I shut down outwardly like a computer rebooting. My boyfriend finds it frustrating, calling me out for being dead to the world. The thing is, I NEEED that dead time. I know I do. It affords me the resources to continue to function in my world, even if it is at the most basic level.
What I'm saying is, don't be hard on yourself and don't let other people. Tell them you are tired and forgot to have your coffee. Tell them your cat/dog/brother/sister/lover kept you up all night. Tell them you have a lot on your plate with work or whatever your current situation. I find myself telling people that I'm just distracted by something I need to take care of and dismissing myself from situations. I say" of course it's not you! I'm having a hard time being present because xyz is distracting me. And rainchecking.
It's ok to keep your head down when you are in recovery.

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