First off, to any mods, if this is in the wrong forum, please feel free to move it. Also, what I'm going to talk about may be a little uncomfortable for some.

I had my first EMDR session with my therapist today and I'm having kind of an unusual reaction. Or maybe it's normal, I'm not sure. If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, you're not alone because I probably don't know what I'm talking about either. (HA I am SO funny!) Anyway, EMDR is this therapy where you just talk about things that make you anxious while holding on to two pads, one in each hand, that vibrate alternately. Apparently it's supposed to stimulate each side of the brain to get them working in tandem so you can connect things from both sides and understand what's really causing your anxiety. Or something.

What happened was this: I was talking about how when I was a boy I had an intense fear of severe weather, like strong thunderstorms, because I was afraid a tornado would come and wreck our house. After a while this got me to thinking about a female friend of mine who is really into severe weather. She's done training to be a storm spotter, and she can tell you if rain is coming by looking at the clouds and identifying which could develop into storms.

Now where is this leading you ask? Well it reminded me of a dream I had sometime last night or early this morning where this friend and I were showering together. I don't remember much more than that; I do have a fleeting memory of how I kept telling her we were just friends but I was still touching her every chance I got. I can't recall if this led to us doing anything *ahem* that consenting adults would do. Now this is a friend who while I could never be romantically involved with (actually, she's said on occasion she thinks she may be a lesbian, but she's never quite figured it out,) but I am definitely physically attracted to her. When I drive home I go past her place and more than once I've fantasized about being over there when her roommate isn't there, and we wind up doing you-know-what. Not that I would ever want to do that. I've never been the kind of guy to just sleep with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. I had a couple opportunities in college and I just couldn't do it. And I could certainly never do a "friends with benefits" thing.

So anyway, once I remembered that dream during the therapy session, it was like I had taken a Vivarin or something. I got excited, but not in a "va-va-voom!" way. I mean I wasn't aroused and filled with an urge to procreate as soon as possible.... but I did have a lot of energy as if I did feel that way. Do you know what I mean? I'm probably not explaining this very well. I guess I'll just say it: it was like I had all the energy of being "horny" except I wasn't. I just feel stimulated somehow. It's like that feeling I sometimes get where I feel hyper and dead tired at the same time. I'm not anxious or afraid, just energized. It's weird.

I hope this doesn't freak anyone out or anything, I just had to talk about it. I was going to try to write some sort of love scene for one of my stories to try to dispel the energy but I felt like it would be better to talk about it in a forum like this where I could just say what was happening. I feel a little more relaxed now so it must have helped.