So I got a text from my T this morning saying she had to have emergency surgery, that she is fine, but not well enough to work this week.

Now part of me feels for her. I don't want her to be in any pain. I know she won't tell me what happened because that's too personal, but I worry about her. I also completely understand taking off time to heal.

But...

The other part of me is really upset. This past month we've missed a couple sessions. First was because her office was too hot. Then last week I had to miss because I was moving. Now this week she's not feeling good. That's two missed sessions in a row! This move has been really hard on me, and I was really looking forward to and needing to see her this week.

I'm not going to let her know how upset I am. That would make me a self-centred person. But this distance btwn us is making that push/pull feeling come up (wanting to be closer and wanting to push her away). This is a time where I wish the therapeutic relationship was a little more two-sided. I think if I knew what was wrong and could help in some way, I would feel better about the situation.