If I had a do over I would have been smart enough to have paid attention to the red flags & I would have followed my don't get married to him gut feel. I knew there was something wrong with him but back in the mid 70's no one knew about it.

I honestly needed some me alone time to know who I really was & get my own life settled & see what life was around people who weren't dysfunctional though I had no idea that was even what I was around. I had no desire to be married or have kids. Just seemed like the right thing to do at the time until the red flags hit. After that point I never respected him & love doesn't grow where respect is nonexistent.....but I didn't know that either so I just continued fighting the same old stupid crap that I fought about with my parents thinking my fighting was the common denominator never realizing until a few years ago after all were long gone out of my life that what was common was THEIR DYSFUNCTIONS.

I do love my daughter & so thankful I had/have her but I went into marriage with the desire to have NO kids.

Interesting thing is that I love where my single life is now but if I had been single the whole time I would have been so much better off financially of if I had waited & married a NORMAL person again chances are I would still be married to a good husband. It's miserable living from month to month trying to scrape by because a financially irresponsible H destroyed all the savings we had when I got too sick to handle the finances.....but I'm still happier now than I ever was when I was married.

Interesting how everyone's struggles & experiences are soooo different. Just proves that there is no one solution& that everyone has to figure out what is right for them. So often we loose the reasoning we had that made us do things so many years ago when we stop to think about it later on.