Hello PaperLantern: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I'm an older person now & no longer working. But I struggled with similar sorts of feelings to those you're experiencing. I still have them although they're no longer quite the challenge because I'm retired & pretty-much solitary. You know, lots of people seek therapy for all sorts of reasons. One does not have to have a diagnosable mental illness. From what you wrote, you are clearly struggling. So, from my perspective, it makes perfect sense for you to reach out, in real life, for help with the self-deprecating thoughts that haunt you.

I see this is your first post, here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!