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Originally Posted by objectclient
I am currently researching a new therapist and I want to choose somebody who is competent. I have experienced maternal/paternal transference with the majority of therapists in the past which sometimes (worryingly  ) bordered on erotic transference. I know that sounds sick but it was as though the intimacy of the relationship and the transference was causing the ET becauseI would never have found any of them attractive or want that kind of intimacy if I had met them in real life and besides, they were all the same age group as my parents!!!  Also, I'm not bisexuaual. |
Maternal transference overlapping or evolving into erotic is not unusual and doesn't make you sound 'sick' at all. You'll find a lot of people here have gone thorugh similar experiences. We are drawn to what feels familiar, our parents and the lack of attunement from them are often the model for what we are attracted to in life. No big deal. I also wouldn't question your sexuality over it.
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I have been reading the policies of some therapists who say that should attraction develop during the course of therapy, the client will be referred to another appropriate therapist. This suggests to me that the therapist is unwilling and unable to handle transference in the relationship, even when it arises at a later point and does not stem from a physical attraction. Is this how a therapist should practice??
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Is that an actual POLICY somewhere, like written down in a manual or something?
I dont' think that kind of 'baby with the bathwater idea' should be a hard-coded rule by any means and you're right it should be talked out with the therapist before any kind of decision is made.
The therapist is responsible for dealing with a patience transference in a healthy and respectful manner. No matter WHAT it stems from, physical or not. A patient should never be shamed for their feelings, period. the idea that a therapist immediately opt for termination, would be very shaming to the client.
The ONLY time transference should lead to the client being referred out, IMO, is if after some discssion and time to 'work through' the client's feelings, the issue is still a barrier to therapy and causes the patient, or the process of communication to fail. (i.e., the client is too hung on their feelings for the T to process anything else or they mistrust the Therapist because of jealousy, etc. )
Sometimes that happens. It can be informative and helpful for a client to see another therapist at that point and get an alternate perspective.
A good therapist should know how to handle most cases. However, if either the patient can't handle it and chooses to get some distance, OR the patient is unhappy with out the Therapist handles it, then they might be referred out.