I've thought about getting into a relationship again, but I totally fail at relationships. I'm actually awful with trying to find a date in the first place. Same thing with finding friends.

I never dated in middle school (which is when I think kids start dating nowadays?) or in high school. Only ever had 1 date after that and the guy was way too clingy, so I broke up with him... Well, another guy tried to pursue me and asked me out via text message, but he was always greasy and sloppy looking, so I said no. Plus, he spent most of his time playing Pokemon on his gameboy. (I kinda felt bad about rejecting him because he was a nice guy and all... but definitely not my type!)

When I was younger, some kids tried to bully me about my looks, I guess. I don't remember much of it, though... because I was like 10 or 11! But it's made me self critical of my looks sometimes, and it's somewhat put me off from dating.

The other thing that puts me off from dating is having to tell someone about my BP. The thought of that just freaks me out, honestly. I mean, it's a total deal breaker for some people. Yes, it's true that people who don't like you because of your BP aren't worth your time, but that doesn't mean their words and feelings won't hurt you.

If you don't count online friends, I have 0 friends in real life! (I know that a lot of you are in the same boat, however... so I'm sure that's nothing new for you guys.)

How do I gain some self confidence? I can't even gain the confidence to make friends! Am I really that ugly or something that I can't make friends and can only attract creepy guys??? wtf. (Well, it might also be because I look like I'm 16!!!) But I'm also 25 and just transitioned into *real* adulthood (now that I finished school 1 year ago), so making friends at this stage in life is very different from making friends during the school years. Same with dating. I'm not used to it.