Quote:
Originally Posted by objectclient
I am currently researching a new therapist and I want to choose somebody who is competent. I have experienced maternal/paternal transference with the majority of therapists in the past which sometimes (worryingly  ) bordered on erotic transference. I know that sounds sick but it was as though the intimacy of the relationship and the transference was causing the ET becauseI would never have found any of them attractive or want that kind of intimacy if I had met them in real life and besides, they were all the same age group as my parents!!!  Also, I'm not bisexual.
Taking my history of transference (maternal/paternal/erotic) in therapy into account, I want to make sure that this time round I choose a therapist who is competent in dealing with it. So how should a therapist deal with transference?
I understand that it's both sensible and ethical for the therapist and/or client to decide not to embark on a therapeutic relationship if there is an attraction there from the start. However, I have been reading the policies of some therapists who say that should attraction develop during the course of therapy, the client will be referred to another appropriate therapist. This suggests to me that the therapist is unwilling and unable to handle transference in the relationship, even when it arises at a later point and does not stem from a physical attraction. Is this how a therapist should practice? Surely it would be more beneficial to the client to talk about the transference and explore what it is telling them before referring them out to someone else? |
I'm a year into therapy w/my T. Fairly early on, I developed paternal transference that was incredibly intense. My T dealt w/it as it came up. However, because my transference was so upsetting for me, T later made small changes to how he related to me in session, which he explained as not wanting to trigger my transference because it was so anxiety-provoking for me. Oddly enough, objectclient, your post has possibly answered a troubling question for my T and me, so I thank you (even if my theory doesn't work out...food for thought and all that, you know). I've been so anxious in therapy lately, suicidal when T is out of town, even though I don't miss my appt. time. We've been talking quite a lot about my birth mother and adoptive mother and how I can't recall the first seven years of my life. The question in therapy has been, until now, what happened during those seven years that might have had bearing on my insecure/avoidant attachment style...? Now, thinking of your post, I'm looking at my behavior in therapy as a possible maternal transference. If so, my T will work w/it. (T is in private practice w/34+ years of experience and has gone through psychotherapy or psychoanalysis, if this helps at all. I didn't ask if he had experience in transference.)
Is it possible that your Ts don't want to deal with the erotic transference, not necessarily transference in general? I view erotic transference as a very different process. A lot of Ts maybe don't want to get started on what could be a slippery slope?
I wish you luck in your search. And thanks, again, for posting.
