Okay guys. First post here because there is something that is really starting to annoy me.

Why on earth am I so unsympathetic?

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled to be sympathetic when others are in pain or suffering, and my usual reaction to others' problems is annoyance and avoidance. I run away, hide, cut contact, and am completely emotionally distant, regardless of whether they are an acquaintance or a close friend.

For example:
- The day I returned home age 15 to hear my grandad was dying, my very first thought was 'well there goes my relaxing evening'. Admittedly he and I were not terribly close but I remember trying to calculate how long I'd need to keep my head down before I could behave cheerfully around my parents again.
- When a very close friend injured his leg at a music festival, causing me to change plans for the day, miss out on things, and 'look after' him, I was incredibly resentful and angry (furious, actually!). I mentally mocked him for making it up, and regarded him as a hypochondriac, though I would never ever have said those things to his face. He turned out to have a genuine injury. I was still unsympathetic, still thought he was a bit of a hypochondriac, and avoided him for the next two weeks, both online and in person, until he'd recovered.
- When an acquaintance in high school suffered a loss in her family, causing our entire year group to enter a state of competitive grieving, I spent all of my free time that day sat on the floor in the corridor rather than in the common room, angry, confused, and upset that things weren't 'normal' - not upset for her loss. I later acted up in class and earned myself a detention for being hostile to a teacher, something that was very outside my normal behaviour.
- When a friend at work was upset due to her mother being in hospital, I avoided her for the entire time.

I am fully capable of empathy - I do understand and can imagine how these people are feeling, but I honestly do. not. give. a. damn. about. them. The only caring I do is for how their emotional state affects me. If someone is struggling, I want to run away from them, not help. I get angry and upset about my personal bubble being messed up, and avoid the source of the messing-up until things are back to normal. Terrible news on the TV does not affect me... though sad films can still very very easily make me cry. I dread my ageing parents getting ill, because I feel I'd see their illness as an 'inconvenience', and fear that I'd abandon them. I appreciate this makes me sound incredibly self-centred, and that upsets me. I don't want to be a self-centred horrible person, though I admit this attitude does seem to save me from a lot of mental effort.

If it's of any interest - and I feel it may be connected in some way - I have never been in a romantic relationship (I am 28). I'm definitely not asexual, I'm just not interested / haven't found the right person to inspire that desire for 'togetherness' in me.

I have no diagnosed psychological problems. I suffer only mild occasional anxiety, usually situational, and a few OCD-ish symptoms of note. So what on earth is going on here?