I have trust issues with everyone, including my therapist, but it gets better over time. I've known my t for 7 years. In that time, she's shown herself to be someone I can trust to be supportive and professional. I've had some crappy experiences with other T's and mental health "professionals". Generally, the ones experienced and trained in trauma were the better ones.

I've experienced transference in that I expect my t to respond as others have in my life (ie: sometimes I tell her something and am almost positive she is mad at me for it). I've gotten to a point where I am able to ask for a reality check around that, and I work to accept that what she tells me about it is accurate to the moment.

I find I have trouble with T's vacations though. I struggle with the lack of support and change in routine. It bothers me that I look to her for so much support and ability to regulate. I guess in that sense, there's some parental transference at work. While I know how to self-regulate and process things on my own, we've been working on my ability to ask for support when needed. I feel like I've gone from being totally self-reliant to being almost helpless without t's support. I'm slowly learning how to find a happy middle-ground with that. It's a lot harder to learn as an adult though...

I can relate to struggling with online relationships. While "real life" ones cause a lot of anxiety, there's little by way of non-verbal communication to go by when trying to decipher online contact. I can understand that for myself, my mood and level of distraction (work, life, distractions in-the-moment) play a huge role in my ability to connect with others online. For some reason though, I automatically default to people hating me or thinking I'm stupid if their level of contact changes at any point. I pull away and leave it up to them to make the next move. In f2f situations, it's easier to "reality check" around a person's responses. It's easier to see if they are tired or super-busy or distracted by the tv... I've become better at telling myself there's probably something going on with the other person, and it's not that they suddenly hate me/wish me to disappear/think I'm a complete moron. Online, it takes a lot longer to convince myself of that...