it sounds like you want someone to tell you that you are right and justify actions that you taken for you... ?

i have found that its important for me to not put so much weight into what other people think about my actions.. but for me to do what i feel is right, honoring myself the best i can and not needing to have it proven because i know what im doing is the best i can do and that i always look at things from others point of view so that i can rest assured that if i have made a mistake then i can fix or try to fix it..

honor comes from inside, for me, because in my opinion alot of things that people seem to hold highly i dont agree with.. some things some people view as honorable i can find disgusting...

we are all different and see the world through different sets of eyes, so we have to remember that just because someone has a specific opinion does not make it the golden standard...

i have had many things happen and have done many things that i am upset about and find disgraceful as well, i often find myself thinking about those things and how i would of done things different..
how some things that i did feel right and still people see them as wrong.. (even within)

but all i can do is to let go of it the best i can because things that happen cant be reversed, but we can move forward with the knowledge gained from those things...

you experienced something that you feel strongly about, there is nothing wrong with that.. but to let it rule your life and keep you from experiencing further and growing more and hurting yourself over the ideas and perceptions of others.. this is something we have to try to avoid, we can't control others and can't make them think and feel the way we want them to.. instead we have to let them be them, and we be us... do whats good for us, whats right for us, take care of ourselves and move forward - if those people that you speak of dont want to move forward with you then that is their problem and you should move ahead without them because it is your life and you should not let the past hold you in this cage..

working with a therapist is probably the best idea since it sounds like it has been something that has bothered you for a long time, you can explore the thoughts and reasons.. the feelins and desires from these experiences and resolve these "frozen" moments that we often find ourselves holding onto tightly... for fear of resolution.. but the natural feelins we have actually prevent resolution and are counter productive, so try to just be with yourself and not let the outside be so controlling over your inner world..

this is our life and not theirs, honor ourselves and we will get respect from those who deserve our company...
try not to seek validation too much from the outside.. i have found that always leads to disappointment for me...

but i dont have any friends and im not close to anyone, i barely talk to my family even though i live with them and i guess that is just how i am.. what i say obviously isn't the golden standard either, its just my perspective and experience..

i hope that you are able to feel a little better soon