I think something happened with my sort-of-boyfriend. and i think my friend knows. but i can't get hold of either of them. i think i'm like this because i was ina 3 year relationship with someone like this,and it's rubbed off. anyway, i'vebeenonlinefor hours tryng to get them and talk to my friends, with no result, and i just need to know. i want to block him to not have to wait for his reply. but that would bestupid. so instead i cut myself and drank absynth and i think i'll not take my meds tonight. anything to put myself out for the count so i don't have to feel this desperation any more. I didnt tell anyone i know how uchofa mess i'm in as i don;t want them to worry, although they know i'm freaking out a bit. but i needed to tell someone.