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Old Aug 17, 2016, 04:07 PM
jimmy rich's Avatar
jimmy rich jimmy rich is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: California
Posts: 361
IMO, the one and perhaps only thing (besides a spiritual awakening) that can help a person cope with others and make a relationship work well is SELF RESPECT or SELF-ESTEEM work.
Folks with good/healthy self esteem/respect can handle dysfunctional others quite well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleny View Post
I'm a huge people pleaser and find people often walk all over me.
That happens when we don't have enough self respect and cannot stand up for our self.
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I've recently moved into a new house and my new housemate talks ALOT and never listens to me.
Because you don't have enough self respect to request or even DEMAND her attention. Self esteem work will show you how to deal with such a one-sided person.

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This is a recurring pattern in my life (Interestingly, this is the same relationship I have with my dad. He needs a lot of attention and talks a lot, but doesn't ever listen when I talk) but I've had enough.
If you have truly "had enough", I'd research: self esteem, self respect, relationship skills and anything that might teach you to get a back bone.

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After my housemate left for work today my head was sore and I felt drained, angry and upset. I can't go on like this but I don't know how to make it stop.
You just need a few effective coping skills and strategies to both handle others and handle your own reactions to them (upset, angry, drained).
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I need to put myself first but I also share a space with this girl so will inevitably be spending time with her. What should I do?? Any advice would be great.
I'd get a few books about self esteem and relationships, go on line or get into a CODA support group (google it). If this has something to do with childhood conditioning by a dysfunctional parent (your dad), you may also need the hep of a counselor as well as some support group but the bottom line is to LEARN HOW to deal with others and your self - ASAP. good luck
Thanks for this!
Eleny