I am hugely drawn toward the idea of both people having their own bank accounts in relationships, and maybe one shared account. Can you get your own and have direct deposit sent there? Also, for anyone about to get married, please please do a prenuptial agreement.

It sounds like she is working a lot and is either controlling or she is wearing herself out and redirecting the stress onto you and what you're doing during the day. Her being a slob is about the last thing that looks wrong -- she is either really miserable at her job, something has her off her rocker, or she is a control freak and you are taking the brunt of it. I don't know which, so I dunno what to tell you. Sounds miserable. I'm sure the kid doesn't care for it either.