((((((((((sunny in PA))))))))))

sorry just saw this, haven't been on for a day! Thankyou so much for your reply, I can't give myself a big hug, wish I could, I'm working on it though!! I am the same, and to be perfectly honest, I too think that rejection and abandonment and never being able to make my parents proud has more of an effect on me than the abuse!!!

My mum knew about the abuse but refused to aknowledge it and put my abuser before me all the time, left me with my dad at weekends when I needed her (it wasn't my dad who sexually abused me)and refused to believe me when I told her her boyfriend was ausing me sexually.
My mum eventually left my dad, he sold the house and I moved into a flat with him. He met a woman and moved in with her, leaving me with no furniture, no money and I was so insecure I didn't trust myself to live on my own, so my mum said I could live with her but never gave me my own key and put me down to everyone. I have no self confidence still and very poor self esteem.
I'm working on it though, it's so hard.
Once again thankyou for replying, I'm sorry this is so long,

Jinnyann xoxoxoxo