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Mouse_ said:

I realised then that my relationship with T is real, because I feel things with her, the space in between us has been born and nutured and is real in that respect.

Its doesnt matter that I don't know her birthday, or how many dogs shes ever had or stuff like that, its all the stuff thats been shared emotionally that is real.

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Mouse, I cannot thank you enough for posting this. This is something I have been struggling with for awhile. I often wonder if the relationship with T is real, how much of it can really be real when it is so colored with transference, and I have gone so far as to call him a stranger in session. When reading your post, I realized that not only are all the feelings real, but it doesn't matter that I don't know facts about him like his birthday or what he likes to do on the weekend-- those are not intimate details. I can know that about anybody. However, with T, I have shared tears, laughter, the meaning of my poetry, pain, images, connections, and disconnections-- things that I have never shared with anybody.