Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuras
Disgusted that someone has a past? What BS? What disorder? The person in question is, by OP himself, described as having overcome a difficult past and is "the type of woman any man would love to marry". The crux of the issue is that OP can't reconcile the fact that the woman he has had this interest in was, at one point, a stripper. Though, originally, he merely overlooked this "terrible" matter because he thought she was just "someone to waste time with". But because she has this past that made her a "horrible" person, OP can't get over it. So the best that can be done is supposedly trying to look at her as two different people.
You're right, no one is obliged to deal with another person's dysfunction. God knows I wouldn't be obliged to have my significant other view my life with abhorrence and disgust.
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No, not disgusted that someone has a past. Disgusted about what that person did in that past. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either.
My post was in response to A Red Panda who suggested that her behavior isn't something the OP should feel disgusted about. I don't think that is fair. Many people wouldn't feel OK about being with someone who has had that kind of a past.
My concerns wouldn't be the same as OPs, however. My concern would be whether this person truly has given up that behavior (which I find disgusting, and not the kind of person I want to have a relationship with). And I wonder if at some level that is OPs concern also... that there's some cognitive dissonance as a result of how this person behaved in the past, and how they are behaving now.
We all have the right to choose the kind of relationships we want. I personally don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is a stripper, or a prostitute. That's my choice. Likewise, I might not want to be in a relationship with someone who has a mental health problem (which I'm not saying she has, I'm speaking in general). Again, my choice. That doesn't make someone a bad person.
Also, I'm not defending OP. I suspect he has issues of his own.