Hi rgrad,

Just wondering if you think this is all down to you, or maybe it (or a chunk of it at least) could be problems with some other people's perspectives...........you know there is a chance that it's a whole lot more down to how some other people read you/their mis-perceptions/their wrong assumptions, than as to you and how you actually "come across"................
Afterall, you did say that you knew some behaviours to avoid and avoided doing them, and even if you didn't talk much to some people, your smile and your "Hi" kind of stopped you seeming "cold" or "unapproachable"............
So maybe some of the misunderstandings could be based on their assumptions and "judgements" (which could come from their life experience), and them not knowing you well enough to know what applies to you??
And some people can just be less intuitive about others behaviours and what they may mean anyway, so it doesn't all have to be about you.
In which case..........one way around that..........you get to know each other a bit more/the scene is set for them to get to know you a little more??? That's if you'd want that with some of the people you've mentioned though............

So without thinking so much that you "have to", "should" do more...........where might you want to take this??
Do you maybe want to "let more people in" to get to know you better?? Maybe have some more self-confidence in "being with people"/expressing yourself more with them??
I'm not saying you should do that, but if...........
And those things are maybe things that you can develop in time.........with practise..........with support............
Sounds like your home life may have had a big impact on the way you're feeling though inc. about your "fear" of bothering people (??), but one step at a time........and real kudos for trying, as you have/are, to break down some of those barriers

And last word.........anyone who treats you badly, negatively, disrespectfully for being any kind of different............those aren't people who deserve to matter to you anyway!!

Alison