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I sometimes catch myself now asking people (in person) questions about themselves because I'm "supposed to" rather than because I really want to know? And I don't necessarily listen to the answer either, just tick off having asked the question in the first place from my social to-do list and move on.

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%#@&#!, I do this ALL THE TIME! I was at a wedding this weekend and I didn't really know anyone there other than the bride. At one point someone asked me if I was keeping all the names straight. Inside I was like Heck NO, not even trying!

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My T implied it wasn't a necessity and that people have different built-in capacities for caring, for wanting to ask people about themselves AND wanting to know the answers.

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So was she saying it was OK not to really want to get to know people?

I think sometimes I avoid establishing relationships for fear that I may actually enjoy them and then miss them when the people move on. I think this is why I may be avoiding opening up in therapy, because I do not want to be come dependent on her. I don't want to start expecting things from her. I can't get upset with her if I don't really care to being with.