Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I agree with Alison that you learned these habits in your childhood, by the way you were treated then. One way that you can unlearn them is through therapy.
I agree with this. If someone is not socializing at a social event, people are much more likely to read that as "I want to be left alone/I don't want to speak" rather than "Because of my childhood it feels unsafe and bothersome to speak first but really I would love to speak with you."
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Yes I did learn all of these habits going way back to childhood. As I mentioned before, I was shunned a lot, especially if I took the initiative so I taught myself to not talk to anyone unless someone came to me first. While waiting, I would still have an positive appearance and look open and ready for conversation. ANd yes, what you mentioned about those who stand in a corner with their arms crossed, I totally agree with you. I have seen people do that, and it is a turnoff. As hypocritical as it may sound, even I am more reluctant to approach someone who is acting standoffish since they may not want to be talked too.