If you go and see your current T she may well terminate. Whether you agree or not (and I don't agree as I think online is public domain) she may be very upset or angry. The key to working through this might be to see a new T. If the antidote to shame is empathy then this T may not be the one to show you the empathy you need. It is likely she will get too caught up in her feelings to help you appropriately. Try contacting another T, you don't have to decide today what to do. You can take a minute, talk it out, deal with your feelings and then plan from there.