My therapist offered as an alternative that I might try to accept that it is OK to be alone the rest of my life. That's the state I've been in for maybe seven years now. It is survivable but not satisfactory. I was able to deal with living in that place but there is no way I can expend the huge amount of energy required to keep working on this depression with that as the "goal" it is simply not worth it. I'm talking not only the energy of dealing with the depression every day but of trying to get help... Finding, calling therapists, dragging myself to support group meetings several times a week, I spent 9 weeks in an IOP, dealing with insurance. I have no one at all to help me with this stuff, I am alone all day without so much as someone to visit and get a hug, let alone help me deal with the mountain of crap to get help. I worked hard at that for the last nine months and I am very proud of myself for the effort I put in but I just don't have the energy to start again, starting with finding a new therapist, back at square one.