But I've spent years doing all of the things that you have suggested. I took my bar down thinking maybe I was being too picky. Met people I couldn't stand being around when I was healthy. I'm much less tolerant now that I am older and have medical issues and I also realize that puts me on a "lower" bar to anyone I might meet. You are correct I did tell them I would be out all week but this isn't isolated, I haven't worked more than one day a week for several months now and while I was in IOP I wasn't at work at all. I did try to keep up with some work at home but very sketchy hours. I did three days out of necessity on a project three weeks ago, it almost killed me (not literally) and I don't even remember the next week and this week two days. I think the week in between I tried to go in and had to leave mid day because of anxiety. That was the way things were before I was in IOP I would try to go to work and then leave after an hour. I had gotten past that and was able to go in one day a week and stay the whole day. Now I'm back to not being able to make it through the day. I've only been with this therapist a few weeks. He's not dropping me I just find him doing more harm than good so I'm looking for another. I plan to keep seeing him until I can find someone new because I don't dare try to slide through this without regular therapy even if it is bad therapy I need the structure so I don't just give up completely. I've trying to do things to get me out but my motivation is failing again. The anhedonia that comes with my depression has returned so there is nothing I can go out and do that will give me joy. I wouldn't even want to meet the person who would want to be friends with me if I am somewhere not enjoying myself. My aloneness is not an assumption it is tested and true over the past 54 years. I keep talking to people who say they are in the same boat as I am and can understand and to hold out because they are just like me and they found someone when they were older... Then talking to them they describe how happy they are in this new relationship because it is so much better than their first and second marriages and their kids get along with this one. I am not exaggerating about this. I'm polite to them but I want to scream at them YOU HAD TWO MARRIAGES AND KIDS YOU ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT AS I AM I AM A VIRGIN AND HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD ANYONE INTERESTED IN GOING OUT ON A DATE WITH ME.