going to visit my families house for christmas...not good...she is continiously telling me i am fat....so now i am on a diet...i have to go there looking so good that she cant say anything....my diet includes special K ....slim fast health shakes...diet sugar free jello...those special K granola bars...really good things to snack on..impressive nutritional value....sugar free light cranberry juice....splenda...and light pregresso soup...the one that has 0 points in weight watchers....im keeping my coffee cuz its a dieretic...lets hope i loose some weight....i am 122 pounds and 5 foot....its a normal range....but if my mom would see me she would rip me apart she saw me at 130 pounds and said i needed to lose alot of weight, plus when i called her alittle over a week ago she said she was 110 pounds...and she is 5'5 so that means i have alot to live up to ......when i go back home to my abusers if they see me vunerable they will try to break me...i gotta look like im smoken if they think i am pentitrable they will do it, but i look like im so hot, you know those hot girls that look like they have it together most of the time you will be to in awe and afraid to try and get under her skin, i need to get some designer clothes, get myself some uggs...i need them to have to look twice and say wow she did so much better for herself when she got away from us....i just hope it doesnt get out of control...my bf said he wants to support me but he is keeping an eye on how much i eat...yey....and with all of the stuff i have been through lately i wouldnt be surprised i fall alittle....this is really rough...i cant believe i am going home to my abusers...for christmas......what was i thinking...oh dear