The T offered a service and the OP felt disempowered so rather than talking to her about that they trawl through the Internet not just for information about her but people in her life and previously associated with her. By your reasoning, if I were a therapist I should be ok with someone looking up my info (which I get, it's my job to keep my stuff secure, knowing what I do for a job) but also everyone who knows me lest a client think it's ok to have a bit more information about me and decides they're fair game too. And I should be ok with someone looking up people who aren't even in my life anymore and use that information against me. Seriously?

Being a T entitles someone to search for information about every area of my present and past life and use that against me, and I should be ok with that, because I decided to be a T. I think that's unreasonable in the extreme - yes a T should be able to work through it with a client and deal with it professionally but I don't expect them to be fine with it or not have feelings about it.