When I think about it, I think people just don't think about it. They live on auto-pilot. They don't reflect on their lives, I feel.

My own life is ok, I guess, but just barely and it took me a while.
But when I imagine the lives other people are living, that thought suffocates me. And then I am talking about people in the western world, who had never had to think about actual survival.

The jobs people have, the partners they choose to live their life with but that, like themselves, are obviously sub-par regardless of if you prefer personality or looks.
Their children who are just as average.
Things about the world they can't or won't understand, be it science, art or politics.

And these people, unlike me sometimes, are content, even happy. Yes, it bothers me. Especially because I know there are people who do have it all. I feel like that I had what they had, be among the top5 most successful in all spheres of life, I'd be happier to age and die.

I think I won't mind dying if I had everything I wanted. A successful career where I actually did something meaningful, both for my own intellect and for humanity. A happy marriage with a woman who I consider to be way out of my league. Children who are becoming just as successful as my wife. So in a way, as successful as I would like to be, but without the struggle and more enjoyment.
Long-lasting friendships with a few other couples.
Some money to show for that I was actually successful and live without any financial worries.
Actually get somewhere in my hobbies, rather than just be it a time sink.

I feel that the only part of my life I have some success in is staying healthy and fit. But that won't last and while it may impress some people, maybe I mean women, it never has as far as I know, yet it could have. So it means nothing and all my endurance sports efforts are maybe also a big black hole that just sucks up the time I should be spending on improving things I am bad at.